I Am Poem

 For school, I was required to write a poem reflecting me and my feelings.

I am bright yet shattered.

I wonder when I will finally be accepted into hogwarts…I'm 11 right? Has McGonagall merely forgotten or will I have to spend the rest of my life devastatingly hanging like a dead tree branch?

I hear the low, haunting wispers of all my deceased family members, bringing me such terror, fright, and chill.

I see mountains of books piled around my bedroom, each filled with unique and different personalities.

I want to finally have someone who truly cares and accepts me for my true self. In the meantime, I’ll be patiently waiting and ticking off every day that comes and passes, my hopes turning into an infinite roller coaster, riding the same bump for the millionth time.

I am bright yet shattered.

I pretend to be alright when I’m really not, not ready to face the jeering and sniggering from all my so-called “friends” and everybody not in my little make believe world which will never expand more than in my head.

I feel ecstatic after finally finishing a long, difficult test. My worry then focuses on how I did…nearly breaking my fragile, shaky fingers as I cross them so tightly while nearly giving myself a headache from intense worrying.

I touch my little Harry Potter wand as it finally comes out of its hiding place…no one besides me ever sees it more than a small plastic stick or a chopstick that got chucked halfway across the hall anyways.

I worry about the next attack my sneaky, quiet little sister is planning on me. Am I really safe here with a little monster lurking around?

I cry as everyday passes and I still wonder if there’s any hope left in the world for me…all I am is another ordinary kid who hasn’t done one bit to benefit the world at the end of the day.

I am bright yet shattered.

I understand how all the lonely, bullied kids feel.  It’s not easy nor will it ever be - no one ever picks them in a large crowd of “better people” anyway.

I say the best friends and people in general are those who everyone despises and hates - they are the ones who will be there to spoil you with kindness and they will be there through every obstacle.

I dream of a world where racism and judging people by how they look is gone and all there is left are real people, the type of people we have been wishing for all along.

I try to finish all the buttery finger licking good macarons - I’m just too full!

I hope to live a good life, ups and downs are necessary to move on to the next chapter, but will anything be similar to the first and easiest?

I am bright yet shattered.